How to Make Friends in Your 30s One Month Update

I can’t believe it has been one month since we’ve moved.  One month since we picked up our things, left family and friends, and traveled to Florida to start what sometimes feels like, all over again.  At times it has been scary, lonely, and frustrating.  But then there are days where I feel like I’ve got a handle on this and all will be just fine.

Before we moved, one of my biggest fears about leaving everything behind was the feeling of loneliness that I would have as a stay at home mom in a completely new place.  I had promised myself that I would work daily to make a life for myself and my family by making connections and getting out of my comfort zone.  I can’t say that it’s been a glamorous adventure but I can say, just one month out, that it has forced me to grow as a person already.  

Trying to meet friends in your thirties is a challenge whether you’ve been in the same place for years or recently moved.  People have ties to friends for years and find comfort and connections in those relationships.  Most of us only meet new people within our jobs because those are the people that we are surrounded by daily.  So, what does that mean for a stay at home mom whose sole connection for the day is a crawling, climbing, smiling, but sometimes screeching 10 month old?!  That’s what I’ve been trying to figure out.

Last I checked in, I shared five ways that would help get me out and about in hopes of meeting people and making new friends.  It sounds so trivial but I’ve become even more aware that as a stay at home mom, adult interaction is necessary for my own happiness.  My five ideas that I shared were,

1. Walk

2. Join a class

3.  Say Hi

4. Shop local

5. Put myself out there both on social media and in daily life

So how have I been doing and how has it been going?  To put it plainly, some days are better than others.  There are some days that I’ve been pleasantly surprised at how kind and welcoming people can be.  Others, the reality of change and fear of that change creeps in and holds onto me tightly.  Out of my five ideas I’ve struggled most with shopping local.  In the area we are now, there aren’t many older stores that have been in the community for a long time.  There are more chains and larger strip malls which doesn’t help my goal.  Walking has also been a challenge.  Even though I take my daughter and dog for an afternoon stroll almost everyday, it’s not a community where people are out walking at all hours of the day like I was used to before.  

What I can say has worked well so far has been to join classes and say hi.  I have gotten involved with the MOMS Club in my area and I have to say it has been amazing.  I have weekly playgroups that are set up for me specifically with kids around C’s age and a network of local mothers who have been so welcoming with both information, recommendations for the area, and friendship. If you are a new mom I can’t recommend this organization enough.  They are an international group so if you go onto their website you can look up to find where your local chapters are.  I’m so glad that I have found this group and wasn’t afraid to join in with them.  I’ve even gone out for a Mom’s Night Out for a few fun cocktails.  So needed even if the first few conversations can feel like speed dating mom friend style.

Through the MOMS Club, I have been able to find several kid classes for C and I to take part in.  I may have been going a little overboard with signing us up for all the things but mama needs a way to get out of the house!  Most of the classes I have been to offer free trial classes for first time customers.  Don’t be afraid to call and ask.  So far we’ve tried two different music classes, gym classes, and playgroups.

I will say that saying hi and putting myself out there both on social media and in daily life has really taken me out of my comfort zone and something I’m working on constantly.  It is not easy for someone who considers themselves an introvert.  But, the few times that I have done it, I haven’t been disappointed. 

 So what has that looked like?  So far it’s been saying hi to other moms at the park or in the grocery store.  Mostly C saying hi to other people and striking up a conversation for me! Through these little interactions though it has shown me that there are so many other people out there, especially other moms, who are looking for a connection too.  So if you find yourself in the aisle at Target browsing the new Cat and Jack line with another mother standing next to you, say something.  I’m learning that the worst thing that could happen is that they say one thing and walk away. Or find me super crazy, but really so many others do anyway. At least I tried.

Putting myself out there on social media has been a slower process.  I’m trying to find my voice and what my interests are these days.  Sometimes I struggle with the fact that I’m not in the classroom and don’t have action shots to show, but then I look at how much my little girl has grown and changed in the last month and I’m so grateful for this time with her. 

But here’s to continuing to be a joiner and saying YES whenever I can.  Until next time, thanks for stopping by!